Stories :: Beauty Starts With Me

Expectations

13 July 2015

I recently read a blogpost entitled, 26, UNMARRIED, AND CHILDLESS, by Amanda Bast(@AmandaMBast). I reached out to her via Twitter, and asked her for permission to write about her post on this website. (She gracefully agreed).

In her post, Amanda describes her feelings when she is questioned about her plans to get married and start a family:

So when you — friends, family, acquaintances, Twitter followers and blog readers — remind me that I’m far behind where one would expect to be at my age, it makes me feel broken. I feel like I’ve done something wrong. I feel like I’m letting you down or making some horrible mistake.

Ms. Bast continues: “Instead of relishing in the freedom, blessings and limitless possibilities that this stage of life offers me, I am left frozen, feeling like I’m not enough. Like what I’ve done doesn’t really matter or that I’ve accomplished nothing. I’m an outcast. I’m defective. I’m panicked. When you comment on my life stage as if there was something I could do to change it, it makes me feel inadequate. Most days I truly do love where I’m at right now, but when people question my marital status, I think I’m messing up my chances to do anything worthwhile with my life”.

It is impossible to continuously live up to the expectations of others. I applaud Ms. Bast for having the courage to share her feelings about this very sensitive issue. Thank you for so beautifully expressing what many feel on a daily basis.

Peer pressure occurs throughout our life – whether we are a child, teen, young adult, adult, or senior citizen. Our journey is an individual journey that we share with those we love. The goal is to follow our journey without allowing us to get sidetracked by the expectations of others.

Categories : quotes, Stories

Love Yourself First

03 July 2015

“When we learn to truly love and care for ourselves, the way others treat us will change…..by what we draw to us and/or release from us. If I am allowing mistreatment then something is off in how I am loving and caring for me. This is always where the work must begin…within. This can sometimes be a challenge for those who have lived a long lifetime of abuse…but it’s the only way to stop the madness. We get the life we THINK we deserve.” – Donna Garden

This quote originated in social media, and I asked the author to formally submit it to this site.

According to Donna, this post originated by pondering “that we can often allow something because we believe it is what is helping us to change us…which is true to a certain degree. But, perhaps we have it turned around in some circumstances…perhaps we need to allow the inner change so that we no longer believe we deserve this in our lives to begin with.”

I noted a few other observations from the media stream:

“I want what’s best for everyone involved .. *including myself*”.-A.F.R.
Being self-sacrificial is not healthy.
“You change and others around you do as well”.-T.R.
“Some people are so self-absorbed, abusive, addicted, and hate themselves so much that they are unable to respond to genuine love. No person who loves their self should allow abuse and extreme neglect from another person. I believe they should seek freedom and love them from a distance. Sometimes not enabling others to harm us can be the greatest demonstration of love to them that there is”. ….Love can and does reach out, and it really changes people. Having been on the receiving end of abuse and neglect, I have seen it happen in my own life, and the amazing thing is I have seen my greatest enemy and abuser transform into a friend who loves me… All because I put a stop to the abuse and never stopped offering love from a safe distance. It took years, but I was so excited when this happened! -J.H.
Self love with BOUNDARIES are key. It’s not about them, but YOU.-T.K 
Walk away…and hold their memory in your heart. Just my journey: The more I own my family of origin issues I can see the reason why I was drawn to my spouse….I married what I knew. NOW that I am on the road to health, I can see him from a different perspective: one of compassion…not only for HIM, but for all people.  -T.K.

The moment when it ‘clicked’ for me was when I understood that I am not responsible for someone else’s happiness. Happiness is within. That’s when I finally said NO MORE to abusive and nasty behavior and I WALKED AWAY from that which was unhealthy for me and for my children.

Categories : quotes, Stories

Cultural Differences

15 September 2014

Take a look at this post

Categories : Stories

Famous Failures

14 August 2014

I saw this graphic on FaceBook today. I do not know who generated it. Here’s the link to the original post.

Here’s a YouTube on the same subject. NEVER GIVE UP!!!

Categories : Stories, Video

Teachers Have Such Power

26 July 2014

Submitted By Kim Fisher

I remember a great lesson. We were in history class. Our class windows had a view of a school hall where students walking the hall could be seen.

One of our class started laughing out loud. When our History teacher asked what was so funny, my friend pointed to a student, a physically challenged student who wobbled and walked funny as her misshapen legs struggled to stay in a straight line, ” I was laughing at how she is walking” ( at least she was honest).When I looked I laughed too… I cannot blame her alone for being a shallow teenager.

Our class was the higher level class,,,, the best and the brightest…

and this great teacher responded with a shake of his head “You guys were given brains and great healthy bodies… you were given these without any work or request…” He continued…. ” you who were given so much – should be ashamed of making fun of one who was not gifted with what were freely given… ”

I made a point of meeting that challenged girl later. I found her to be the sweetest most wonderful girl I ever met. She could not walk well, but she loved to play basketball. From then on I always asked for her to be on my team in gym. And the smiles she had as I blocked so she could take a shot warmed my soul.

All because one girl laughed at another and a teacher we respected called us out on our stupidity.

Of all the facts I learned in that American History class,, that lesson was the most important. Thanks Mr Nemec.